Brandeis University Bullies Club

In honor of its 4th year anniversary, the Bullies Club would like to present the pillar charter that the club was first founded on. It has since undergone many changes, but the groundwork for the club has remained untouched. Until now, the original charter was not available to the public outside Bully Club members, applicants, and the University Student Senate.

We are pleased to report of recent news that the year 2000 was welcomed with a 250% increase in applicants. Also, little brother chapter clubs have spawned in more that 6 other Boston area Universities. Students are beginning to learn that they should not be ashamed of finding the bully within themselves. At the same time, we feel it necessary to report that the Brandeis Bully Club has grown so large, that a splinter group is currently trying to form the Anti-Bullies Club. This Club was originally supposed to be chartered one week after the Bullies Club, however in all the excitement we forgot about it. The Anti-Bullies club is still pending legislation in the Student Senate.

Thanks to Beta Eta Nu, the Bullies Club quickly metastasized from the greater Boston area to Pennsylvania and New York. In 1998, we received a total of 314 letters from applicants. We cannot disclose the actual number of members in the Brandeis Bully Club, but we encourage you to apply so you may find out for yourself. With the large percentage of Brandeis Students studying abroad each year, we estimate a boom in international applicants. We send out what we like to call " Foreign Bully Ambassadors", not to be confused with the rank in our club.
These ambassadors travel the world, like Caine in Kung-Fu, and try to teach others the way of the bully. "Once a Bully, always a bully", has been our motto since the beginning. This has proven to be the truth time and time again, as we have extremely active alumni bullies helping out some of the weaker undergraduate bullies. As even the most experience bully will learn, the most powerful and trixy tricks to be played on people, will always come to them when the time is too late. We like to refer to this as "20-20 bully hindsight". Our alumni work with current members is visualizing their potential before their incubation period is up. This is a crucial period of usually the first year and a half. The Brandeis Bullies club continues to be the most powerful, diverse, having members with the largest body mass percentage in the country. This could not have been accomplished without the continuous direct input from our alumni.
			Bully President -- Jeffrey Pollack
We hope you take the time to read our original charter, and continue to show interest in the Brandeis Bullies Club.

The Bullies Club Charter

Article 1
We feel that Bullies are an underrepresented minority on the Brandeis Campus. As such, it is the mission of the Bullies Club to create an atmosphere in which bullies can feel accepted. It is equally important to educate the student body about the cultural aspects of being a bully.

No one shall be denied membership to the club, because all individuals have within themselves the capacity to become a bully. Accordingly, it is the goal of the Bullies' club to cultivate to its fullest the Bully potential within all of its members.

The Bullies Club will hold seminars on matters pertinent to the essence of being a bully. Such seminars may include open floor debates, classes on hand-to-hand combat, or lectures. This is not a limitation on the types of programming permissible. Any other suggestions made by club members shall be considered by the organization as a whole.

Article 2
The club will be officiated by a gang of seven magistrates. The hierarchy power structure will be such: President, Vice President, Man At Armes, Special Counsel to the President, Bully First Mate, Bully in Arms, Ambassador Bully, Captain Bully, Corporal Bully, Bully First Degree, and Petty Bully. The President and Vice President shall be elected directly by the club as a whole. All other positions shall be appointed by the president and confirmed by the Vice President. In the case of a disagreement between the President and the Vice president the matter shall be settled by a best-out-of-three thumb wrestling tournament (sneak attacks of course being permissible).

Elections shall occur once a year. If at anypoint between that one year period anyone would like to move up the ranks of the officials, he/she may challenge the individual directly ahead of him/herself to a Bully Challenge. A Bully Challenge will consist of a best-out-of-three arm wrestling tournament against the individual being challenged, and any other official wishing to support him/her. If successful in the challenge, the challenger will be promoted one rank, and the opponent demoted one rank.

In the case of challenges to the President, Vice President and Man at Arms, the challenger must go through a process known as The Bully's Ultimate Challenge. This will consist of the same process outlined in the Bully Challenge followed by verbal assault. In the verbal assault both the challenger and the incumbent will exchange insults about each other's mother until someone is stumped. No repeated insults will be acceptable, nor can either participant bring a list of insults to aid him/herself. A repeated insult will be considered a defeat. Only one Bully Challenge or a Bully's Ultimate Challenge will be allowed per meeting.

Article 3
All meetings shall be presided over by the President. All officials will be allowed to address the club in the beginning of each meeting in the order of their ranking. After all officials have addressed the club, the President will decide if the club will hear from the rest of the club. If he decided that there will be an open floor, members will yell for the attention of the club. The loudest member (to be decided by the President) will address the club first. Rules for each meeting shall be invented by the President.

For questions or comments, you can reach President Jeff Pollack and the rest of the Bullies club though babushkaexchange@langoo.com